To Not Wear Green
by Kannika
Summary: -Nejiten- What happens when it's St. Patrick's Day and Neji refuses to wear green. Crack, of course. Happy St. Patrick's Day!


**A/N- Happy St. Patrick's Day! I actually forgot what day it was and didn't wear green. Got a couple pinches before I just grabbed a marker and drew a clover on my hand. Anywho, I wrote this a long time ago and was just waiting to post it up for all you Nejiten fans out there. Oh, and I am working on sequels to ****Tired of Being Last **** and ****Tenten's Blind Birthday, **** so expect those up soon. Randomness galore! Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer- I own Naruto! … Early April Fool's Day! (My next holiday to write about XD)**

To Not Wear Green

"Neji! That is so… so…" Lee stopped mid-scold, searching for a word to describe such a selfish move on his eternal rival's part.

"Unyouthful?" Neji finished sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

"Yes! Exactly! Unyouthful!' Lee took up where he had left off, waving his arms to emphasize his point about what a catastrophe it was.

"Would you shut up already?" Neji snapped. "I didn't wear green. What's the big deal?"

"It is St. Patrick's Day! You are supposed to wear green!" Lee told him enthusiastically, flashing him an energetic smile.

Neji blinked. "Why?"

"Because… Actually, I don't know, but I think it is a most youthful holiday!" Lee gave him a big thumbs-up.

"Whatever. I didn't wear green because I didn't want to. You've already lectured me, now would you leave so I could meditate?" Neji shifted into a cross-legged position and closed his eyes.

But Lee persisted, taking on a serious look. "Neji, I am being nicer than I am supposed to be because you are my teammate, but I must obey the rules of St. Patrick's Day. If you are not going to change into something green, I must punish you, by the honor of everything that is green and youthful!" He thrust his fist into the air, trying to look magnificent and noble, which is hard to do when you're in spandex.

Neji opened one eye with a partly-amused, partly-annoyed look. "Punish me?" He repeated, closing it again. "I'm so scared."

Lee frowned and shook his head. "I warned you, but you leave me no choice." He shifted into a fighting position, and Neji opened one eye again in case he had to dodge an attack.

To his surprise, Lee made a hand sign.

"You know ninjutsu?" He asked suspiciously, but Lee ignored him.

"Holiday Style…"

Neji sighed in exasperation. "Idiot…" He muttered. It really drove him and Tenten up the wall when Lee pretended he could do ninjutsu.

"64 pinches!"

Neji twitched. How dare he use his awesome gentle fist attack as the base for the stupid made-up jutsu! Before he could scold him, though, a quick but sharp pain shot up his leg, and he jumped to his feet as another pain went up his arm.

"2 pinches!"

"LEE!" Neji lashed out at his obviously insane teammate, but he was gone.

_Dang him and his speed_. Neji thought as another he felt another pinch on his back, then more.

"4 pinches!"

"OW!"

"8 pinches!"

"LEE, STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

More pinches of doom and evil youthfulness.

"16 pinches!"

"LEE, I'M SERIOUS!"

"32 pinches!"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…" Poor Neji was having a hard time standing upright.

"64 pinches!" Evil Lee went for Neji's neck.

"KILL ME NOW!"

"HA!" Lee landed a finishing blow to the back of Neji's neck, directly in one of the worst pressure points on the body, grinning triumphantly. His eternal rival was beaten!

That is, he was celebrating until Neji fell face-first into the dirt.

"Neji!" Lee checked for a pulse, then looked around in terror. "Oh no. Tenten is coming, and she is going to kill me if she finds I did this to you. I apologize, Neji, but I must go run for cover!" That being said, he took off in a random direction at top speed, leaving Neji unable to move in the middle of the clearing.

"Neji!" Just as Lee had predicted, Tenten was at his side instantly. "What happened!" She demanded, and Neji muttered a response into the dirt.

"Huh?" she blinked, then rolled him over so he could talk –and breathe- again.

"I. Hate. Green."

"Oh, Lee got to you! Don't feel too bad. He just about killed Naruto and Sasuke. You should've seen Ino run! I haven't seen her move so fast since there was a one-day shoe sale in Suna!" She chuckled, wiping the dirt of his face and out of his hair.

"Thank you." He muttered. "As soon as I can move, I'm murdering Lee, though."

Tenten giggled. "C'mon, Neji, I don't want a new teammate."

Neji glared at her. "I hate St. Patrick's Day. Next year I'm locking myself in my room all day."

Tenten diverted her eyes to the floor suddenly. "Um…"

"What?" Neji glanced at her suspiciously.

"I know how to make it so you don't hate St. Patrick's Day…" she started innocently, fidgeting with her fingers nervously and blushing. 

"It'd have to be pretty dang good…" Neji muttered, and Tenten's blush increased tenfold.

"Are you Irish?" she finally asked.

"Huh?" Neji blinked in confusion.

"Are you Irish?" Tenten repeated. _Please say yes…_

"Um, yes. Everybody in Konoha is part Irish. Why?"

_Score!_

Tenten grinned suddenly, leaning over him. "Happy St. Patrick's Day, Neji."

"Huh?" Neji stared at her like she was crazy.

"Haven't you ever heard the saying associated with this holiday…?" she smiled wider.

Neji blinked innocently, although his mind clicked with realization.

"What saying are you talking about?" Neji insisted, looking confused for the best effect.

"Kiss me, I'm Irish." Tenten finished, and Neji smirked and pushed himself up to meet her lips. She squeaked in surprise, then realized that he'd just struck first and pulled him towards her happily.

"Do you still hate St. Patrick's Day?" She asked him when they parted for oxygen.

"Nope. And guess what, Tenten?" Neji smirked, and she guessed this time where he was going.

"What, Neji?'

He leaned forward again.

"Kiss me, I'm Irish." He barely got the words out before Tenten happily pounced on him.

_Best day of the year for the Irish._

**Crack fluff! Oh, and I'm proud of myself. I actually didn't torture Lee this time around. It's my thank-you to TwoDragonFire for editing this. Thanks, Alli! Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone! Review or Lee will come after you with his 64 pinches of evil youthfulness! XD**


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